the porn tariff

Back in the early days of the twenty first century, when virtual communication was still a novelty, suppliers fought tooth and nail for subscribers. One of the most effective marketing ploys was something called the porn tariff. This was an extremely cheap subscription, back in those dial-up days, with only one condition attached: the subscriber was obliged to spend at least one hour a day browsing porn sites. Whilst this seemed like an attractive option to many men and women on the planet, the reality was underwhelming. The images downloaded frame by frame, byte by byte. After searching for their most fantastic fantasies (Dwarves, Lady Di lookalikes, Reptiles, Edward Heath, the Empire State Building were among the favourite searches) the images, which the subscriber hoped would in some way correlate to the ones they possessed in their minds, took so long to appear that the thrill had passed, indeed the hour had passed. All that was achieved by some blurred indelible image was anti-climax.

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{The porn tariff was in fact no more than the product of a delirious imagination, but the subscribers were not to know that.}