3.06.2006

canny george

(warning: the following reveals some of the plot of Syriana)

OK. At the end, you get to drive a four by four across the desert.
Cool. What am I doing there?
You’re there because you’ve found out who the bad guys are who set you up in Beirut.
What happened in Beirut –
It’s not important. You get your nails pulled out by a limey.
OK. So I’m in the four by four. In the desert.
And you intercept the convoy of the good prince –
Not the bad one –
The good one. You pull alongside, flag them down, looks like they’re going to shoot you but they don’t –
No point in driving all that way just to get shot –
He recognises you from the time you got in the lift in Beirut –
Before I got my nails pulled out –
And he looks into your eyes.
He looks into my eyes.
Right.
We have like – a moment.
Exactly.
Then what?
Then –
I –
You both get blown up by the CIA.
We get blown up.
That’s right.
We die?
Un-hunh.
No-one gets saved?
Matt Damon gets saved.
Matt Damon gets saved?
That’s right.
OK, so let me get this – I drive across the desert. I intercept the convoy. I’m doing good. We have a moment. Then – ka Boom?
All over.
OK. Anything else?
You have to pork up and grow a beard.
What kind of beard? Like something suave?
No. Like a biology teacher.
So I look like a dork, I have no plot significance, I get killed, my nails get pulled out … I love your work but it’s a tough call. I’ll do it.
You will?
Yeah. Smells like Oscar to me.