short film out-takes

The director and his leading lady sitting on the stairs before the party scene. Something about the angle of shoulders and the completeness of the bubble that surrounds them saying that this shot, the one in my mind, will count for more than any that will feature in the short film they are making.

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Coming out of the flat in Balham at 7 o’clock in the morning to find that the van had a flat tyre. Coming out of the flat at 7 o’clock the next morning and finding that the van had another flat tyre.

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About seven in the morning. The DOP wants to capture his tracking shot through the aisles before the dawn light breaks the supermarket window. There’s a stack of three thousand toilet rolls in the way. Every one of them is moved within five minutes. The lead sips beer through a straw. The light is getting closer. The tracking shot is captured. The toilet rolls are breeding. There are now seven thousand toilet rolls. Every one of them must be replaced. The set descends into a collective hallucination. A new day emerges. The world eeked out of sleepless pastel softness.

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About four in the morning. A man sits in front of a plate which has an extremely dead looking baked potato on it. The man is being filmed, but not for the film. Just for behind the scene footage. He’s asked if he has to eat the potato. He looks like he’d rather eat his foot.

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Somehow the microwave is plugged in. It balances on the edge of the empty swimming pool. At a given signal the hand towel is placed in the microwave. After three gos, it’s discovered that the optimum period of time for cooking the hand towel is 95 seconds. The hand towel emerges steaming. It is rushed through the door into the actor’s hand. The director says he likes the steam. The art director likes the steam. The actor likes the steam. The steam is filmed and stars in at least three takes. When the film is screened, the steam is invisible to anyone save the actor, art director, director and myself.